SELF ESTEEM – THE MIRROR LIES
Flatline on the e-k-g. “We lost her?” said one doctor. “Confirmed” said the other. At this moment only one sound could be heard in the room. No chords, just one note. Two eyes closed, two pairs of motionless limbs. The sound lingered a while and was made to stop. Silence then prevailed. Teary eyes, faces of pity, and a mother feeling so guilty that she had been helpless with her daughter’s case. And how did this happen?
AN HOUR EARLIER…
Life is no fairytale. When you laugh, the world laughs with you but when you cry, you cry alone. The mirror spoke to her. “Look at yourself! Aren’t you ashamed? With that disfigured nose, you will land no magazine cover. Your body, imperfect and shapeless. How on earth can you decide to actually show yourself in public?! You’re not beautiful, no you’re not. You don’t deserve to feel good about yourself.”
Adina pulled out her drawers, throwing things out, searching for it. What was it? “It” was something that had become her best friend. “It” was a bad friend, in fact a dangerous one. But pain had now become a sort of pleasure for her. The marks made on her skin, which were now scars because time had passed, could have sent warning signals to anyone who had seen them. Unfortunately no one saw or noticed anything, thanks to the many long sleeved clothing that Adina owned. Not even her mother had noticed that something about her daughter was wrong.
Knife in hand, she slit her wrist. The pain was unbearable and blood gushed out. “My body deserves this” she kept saying to herself. Tears and blood mixed together on the floor. Her whole life had been a battle, one that she was slowly losing at that moment. This time wasn’t like the other times. She had cut deep into herself. A troubled mind had turned suicidal. For every pint of blood lost, a part of her life slowly drifted away.
She began to fall in and out of consciousness. The door opened and her mum saw her lying on the floor in a pool of blood. She screamed, “Adi-naaaaaa! Adi-naaaaaaa…What have you done to yourself?” “Mummy, the battle is over. I lo-ve….”Adina mumbled without even completing her sentence. She was unconscious again. Her Mum rushed her to the hospital, where she was sent immediately to the emergency room. It was too late. The battle was finally over. Adina’s eyes had closed into a world of darkness.